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Self awareness isn't my thing

 Having low self awareness comes with the territory of lacking emotional maturity. It should come as no surprise that I'm blind to being self aware. I don't look at myself from someone else's vantagepoint to understand how I could be perceived by others. It's the lack of empathy piece that keeps me from doing that. I can't put myself in other's shoes.

Alas, knowing what I know now, and wishing I new way back when, I'm working on understanding how my emotional state could affect how others perceive me. Because I'm not good at it yet, I can only read myself if I'm super pissed or super depressed. Those are the "easy" ones for me to look at how my outward presence can be different. 

What I need, and getting help for, is understanding the everyday perception. When I'm not super pissed or depressed, but when I may be a little off or when I am more "normal."

These things aren't easy for me. It takes effort to push up against my discomfort. 

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