pure jenius.

 The problem with night time is when everything around me quiets down my mind starts racing. It kicks into overdrive and magnifies anything that is bothering me. Since my mind is not distracted by anything else, it runs through every scenario that brings me discomfort, unhappiness, pain, and fuels my anxiety. I'm stuck in this cycle were I can't stop it and can't be rational.  Like I said before, I struggle over the weekends. Regardless of how my weekend goes or how tired I make myself, I'm left with night time struggles that can sometimes go until 3 a.m. which causes even more problems the next night. I spiral out of control and cannot get any grip on reality to stabilize myself.  As I write this, it is starting to get late into the night. As tired as I am, I am not able to fall asleep, what is currently causing me trouble is how much inflation is having an impact on everything we buy and the stress of spending money on things we don't need has fueled my anxiety to...

 There was a several week span from late April to early May were my depression, anxiety, and ADHD were spiraling and was making a mess of things. It had been a while since it was THAT bad. My therapist has told me to try and focus on what may have caused everything. In the moment it is hard to focus on something like that. Those of us (well, at least me) with ADHD aren't exactly capable of spending the time digging into the details of anything.  A few weeks have passed and I'm closer to a more "normal" and stable routine. My depression and anxiety have subsided for now, but my ADHD is commonplace for me. When I look back at those few weeks and try to think of how I got there, I can't put my self in my own shoes and understand. Even now, when things are "normal" I can't dig into why and how I am back to normal.  When my depression comes fast and thick, it takes a lot of effort and energy to hold myself together and move through the day. It is exhausti...