Running up hill on sand is tough, a lot of effort with little gains. That is what this past year has felt like. While I feel I have my ADHD somewhat under control, I still struggle with depression, impulsiveness, and emotional fluctuations.
I also stopped therapy. I thought for a while that I was okay and could handle life but only to find that I still need help. I’ll be meeting with a new therapist later this week and am hopeful for a fresh perspective and is someone who will hold me accountable. I feel like my last therapist was the start I needed. I was lost in how and where and what to work on. I feel I was able to get things in motion and found some direction. I confused those first few steps with being well on my way to recovery.
I’m bummed that it took me a year to gain that perspective because if I stuck with it I would actually further along in my recovery. I don’t resent or feel guilt for falling back into old routines. I would only feel guilty if I didn’t try and work on me again because I have a family that loves me.
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