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Showing posts from 2008

a short list of stuff.

1.) hi-def video on my cell phone. Google, Apple, RIM, Verizon...you have the cash and the technology...make it happen. 2.) HTML embedding on SMS text messages. Why not? 3.) Free data. Movies, music, books, software, tv shows. If it is digital, it wants to be free. Fat kids are in their mom's basement hacking away at getting videos and software out on the internet for people to download for free. Why not give them a place to do so legally? NBC could broadcast a TV show, then allow someone to load it to Hulu.com for others to watch. NBC won't have to pay some sausage-finger 6 figures to do something someone will do for free. 4.) Cable companies should use the cell phone company biz model. They should subsidize the cost of a TV set, and lock you in to a contract for two years so they can recoup the cost of the TV. Ever had to buy a cellie when you are still within your contract? That's right, your $99 BlackBerry Curve is really a $450 chunk of plastic that you are likely to u...

I'm still not joining Facebook

omg, so-and-so wants to be my friend. so like i totaly friended that person then like totally was posting something on thier wall when like someone else wanted to be like Facebook friends. OMG so like that person is now a Facebook friend along with like a million other people. it's like so kewl. I like might have like a Facebook friend that like knows you and like they can then totaly like find you on my facebook then they can totally like be your facebook friend too. So like check it out I like have facebook friends from like everyone i've like ever met in my life and now like I can totally ignor them on the internet as well as in real life.

OMFG

I need this....(F U Prius)

0-2

Dammit. We played so well but still lost. Here's some highlights from week 2 of our football league. we actually scored. we had a playbook (we laughed when we saw the team we played last week had a playbook. They kicked our asses) Strats is our go-to female QB. She connected on all of her passes. Two of them stick out: one perfectly thrown interception to the other team (we wear yellow shirts, she threw it to a girl wearing a white shirt), and one hail-mary to the end zone. I didn't drop any of the passes that were to me. Nobody got hurt...yet. I can almost smell a torn ACL heading our way. I'm going to hang an old tire in the back yard so Strats can hone her QB skills a little more.

Race report

I arrived about an hour before the race. Got all registrated. Pinned my number on. Attempted to warm up. I'm not that good at these types of races so I was just guessing on how to warm up. I had a good starting position. I lined up on the right side since I figured there would be a bottleneck hitting the tight left-hander just shortly after the start. I didn't start out too hard because I was afraid that I would blow up. I settled in around 20th until we hit the first serious climb (pretty early in the race). I passed a few people and had the leaders in sight. I tried to keep them in sight but I started to lose them in some of the single track. With about half the race remaining I was in noman's land in 15th. I couldn't see anyone ahead nor behind me. I set a pace at about 85% and see how long I could hold it. As I started to tire, I could see the finish ahead of me so I tried to pick it up a little to finish strong. This was the first race of the season for me and I fe...

Chema...Cheqema...Chaquem...Dirt Bike Race in Hayward.

Pellis got us the best host housing you could ask for, his buddy Jimmy has a great 3-story cabin behind Telemark. No tandem this year so I was super-fan cheerleader for Sarah and Casey. This was the second 40 for Sarah (her first was 6 years ago just before her leg surgery), and this was Casey's first. I was at mile 6, 20, and 32 and got to see almost everyone I was looking for at all three spots. For those of you without a preferred start, this is was 6 am looks like: Pre-Race: Pellis' game-face: Nerves of steel: BFF: Duane: ---------- Mile 20 ---------- Sarah: Casey: Dag: T-Mac: Top secret cook-your-own-22oz-steak-on-a-massive-indoor-charcoal-grill-overlooking-the-lake: This should go down as the most impressive finish in Chemiquo...Chemaqua...Chamequa...Fat Tire history:

Versus

Skibby vs. Donimator: Skibby takes it by a long shot.

Sarah Palin's VP nomination vs. Lance Armstrong's Rumored comback

And the winner is..... Sarah Palin's VP nomination. (google doesn't lie)

Back in the day Dale.

I Googled Paul Ellis.

I know Paul Ellis. Paul Ellis is a friend of mine. You sir, are no Paul Ellis.

Saturday Night Live

Did anyone see Tina Faye's stand-up act last night on CNN? It was hilarious! When she was done, her senile grandpa came out and gave her a hug. It was cute.

Got plywood?

Sure wish I was retired.

I'm not sure, but I think they issue one of these and a set of golf clubs.

It takes a lot of balls....

...to roll like Pellis. ...to attack when someone has a flat. Even a 5-year-old knows it's bad form. That's right B, I agree with you 100%.

No such thing as bad publicity....

"Seemingly on cue from previous years the Bianchi/Grand Performance team took to the front in the closing laps too early, looking impressive but posing no real threat. This was followed by a more significant but expected move my the well-manned Texas Roadhouse team for the final laps. " Chaos ensues in the last 10 laps. Safest place is the very front. Plan was to stay at the front and let Texas Roadhouse get the photo op on the last lap while we latched on. Marcotte was 6th. No real threat? Maybe. Maybe not. Three podiums, and two podium near misses in the last six editions aren't so bad. Our number one goal is to be in position to win. We've accomplished that 100% of the time at that race, circumstances dictate the finishing positions. There will be an Elite Crit stars and stripes jersey hanging at GP some day.

Pic of Skibby and Super Dookie.

Is today one of the most important days of your life?

Is today one of the most important days of your life? My day so far has been nothing out of the ordinary. I drove to work since I’m racing the track tonight. I’ve stared at graphs, read through some logs, and done other work things that are completely useless outside of these four walls. If I don’t do my job, I get fired. So what? I can find a new job and still live a normal life. Earlier this month, out of left field, Sarah’s brother-in-law, Chris, was diagnosed with colon cancer. This test lead to that test which lead to finding that the cancer spread to the lymph nodes and possibly to the liver (colon cancer’s second favorite target). I say possibly the liver because x-rays show (I think) 12 spots that are believed to be tumors. At about 1pm this afternoon, Chris’ life will physically change forever. He is having surgery to have about 12 inches of his colon removed, several lymph nodes will be coming out as well, and a biopsy will be done on the spots on his liver. (and here I’m bit...

To the victor....

...come the spoils: (...oops...wrong picture...)

THANKS PELLIS!

I've always thought winning a state championship is cool. Today I won my 4th MN State Crit Championship ('00, '02, '04, '08) and could not have done it without Pellis. Our team was down in Chicago so that left the two of us facing off with something like 7 Grand Stay riders. There were some interesting strategies going on that allowed me to pretty much sit on most of the race. Blah blah blah...5 laps to go Ian Stafford attacked and got a gap on the field. I rolled to the front to slowly reel him in, as expected, Doug attacked on the hill with, I think, 3 to go and got a small gap. I found Pellis and asked him if he had legs to win, he said no. I asked if he could bring Doug back, he said yes. Game on. Paul got to the front and began a Dale Sedgwick esque chase (if you don't know what that is, then I'm not going to tell you). On the last lap, Paul timed catching Doug perfectly, right at about 250m to the finish (at the bottom of the hill). Due to the uphill f...

I'm not sure why....

But I now officially hate SuperWeek:

Bike Riding Update

We went up to Mary, MN for some bike riding on Saturday. Pat really wanted to get ready for Holy Hill next week at SuperWeek. He attacked about 43 times during the race. It was really windy. Really cool course, cooler than the other Marty race. Not sure I would call it a sprinters classic. The hill, combined with the wind made for a rather difficult stretch, one which I cramped really bad on the last time up and couldn't cover the acceleration at the top. Pat saw that happen and sat on the back of the lead group while I bridged back up on the flat. Pat was getting hollered at for not pulling through (See also, Bike Racing 101: When you have teammate(s) bridging up to the group you are in, you tend not to pull through and help the group until your teammate(s) have joined). Dale started the lead-out at probably 42 mph, then Pat took over and finished it off at 45 mph. He won, I was second. Dale missed getting gas money by one spot. Hokkins: More bike riding on Sunday. The race was pr...

I can make a list too.

why is spencer how's last name spelled haugh? i know why the track was all smiles and puppy dogs...cat 6 brought cookies. it is possible to be fiber rich and poopie poor. am I the only one concerned about the absence Donimator? No blog posts, no track appearances, no boat being pulled to Giro D'kot Tek for no reason. i ride my bike to work and am farty most of the day...am I still carbon neutral? because there is a street torn up by my house, i end up riding past smither's house on my morning commute. i would stop by and ask if i could get an espresso from his fancy machine, but the last time i crossed the moat when the draw bridge was up, i got hot grease dumped on my head. we didn't know our neighbor was pregnant until 2 weeks after the baby was born. 12 inches is not enough garden space for summer squash. i laugh when two-year-olds try saying 'Percy' and 'bridge'

Velodrama

Blaine, MN - Once again, the Thursday Night Lights track event was marred by controversy. This week MCF Prez "Skibby" was at the center. He entered the 8-lap scratch race riding with a non-cycling style helmet. The helmet did provide him with an unjust aero advantage. During the first 5 1/2 laps, Skibby was able to set a blistering pace that not even the best of riders could maintain. After proving his point that he has the most aero helmet, he retired from the event with 2 1/2 laps remaining. Skibby could be overheard after the event stating "Now that's a >expletive removed This pre-race photo clearly shows the ANSI and SNELL approved helmet which gave Schaffer undue advantage in the 8-lap scratch race:

Getting more wood tonight.

Hanz: "Franz...." Franz: "Yes Hanz." H: "I'm sinking his helmet iz no approved."

Ph*k'n Suburbs

These people are pissed. WTF did you expect? Let's see, you build your piece of shit McMansion on a former bombing range and you are dumbfounded and pissed that there are bombs in your back yard!? You're a goddamn socket rientist. How about you people that build your houses on landfills, are you going to be pissed that your house is located on top of 30 tons of poopie diapers and Aquafina bottles? OMG, I just realized that the Earth's core is molten hot magma and my house is on top of it! I demand that the government pay boat loads of cash to ensure that my house is safe, nay, I demand that they ensure my yet-to-be-conceived-children are safe from the Earth's core. Think of the children!

Welcome to July....

....Where the Cat 1 Elite shine. Word of warning to those out there that regularly associate with a cat 1 racer, for the next 8 weeks be prepared to talk about nothing other than how awesome being a cat 1 is. Now that the racing season has been underway for a few months, Cat 1's have their cycling tan lines perfected. Their now golden brown legs give way to a disgustingly pasty white wasteland midway through their thigh. Speaking of thighs, these shaved, toned, and oiled up beauties are what cat 1s are most proud of. They will wear casual shorts that compliment their prized possessions. They will wear expensive sandals that show off their sock tan line (just a subtle reminder to everyone that they have been riding a lot). They will stand, sit, walk...basically pose in such a manner that shows of these muscular beauties. After the legs, the next most important physical attribute to a cat 1 is their weight. With thousands and thousands of miles piled on this year, the cat 1 is down t...

Working hard?

Or hardly working:

Bike pedaling from last weekend.

Pat won the hearts of many by pedaling faster than anyone on Saturday at the Square Lake RR. He did it the big boy way by initiating the winning break, then attacking it to solo in for the win. The kid is coming around. Glad he's on my side. Sunday we had a good time at the criterium pedaling race in St. Cloud. It was a fun day for most of us. We don't really warm up for races so early on we had a TTT off the front of the group it was a bit difficult because none of us were all that ready to go. Besides, it was pretty tough off the front because of the wind. Later on the final selection was made, we had 3.5 guys in the 7 rider group...not bad. I was now feeling warmed up and ready to race, so when the charging chase would bring the break closer I was hoping it would be within striking distance to where I could solo up to the break. But the chase never really got going. Pat and Adam gained a lap on the field with about 6 laps to go. I went to the front to keep the pace rolling t...

Giro D'Kota Tek Stage 1 recap and Helmetgate at the track.

Stage 1 of the Giro was fun. The worst sprinter in Minnesota went up against the best sprinter in Minnesota. Got home kind of late, had some dinner: Last night was my first Thursday night lights. I'm glad I went. The real velodrama came after the team pursuit. Something about Tainter not having an approved helmet or some shite like that. I found this photo on Linda's blog and it clearly shows Tainter's illegal head gear: And if you look really close, you will see that cheating son-of-a-bitch is on a MOTORCYCLE! How it went unnoticed is beyond me. Got home late, had some dinner:

I'm getting wood tonight.

Hanz: "Franz, haff you hurd zat Peet vill be racingk ze trak toonite?" Franz: "No, I do no heer zat Peet vill be racingk ze trak toonite." H: "Vell, he iz" F: "Oh ya?" H: "ya." F: "ya?" H: "ya." F: "I vill squish him." H: "ya?" F: " ya." H: "ya?" F: "ya." H: "OK zen, we vill squish him." F: "But no in ze points race, zat iz too long." H: "ya, we vill squish him in ze Chariot. I vill squish him like a bug." F: "ya, squish him like bug on floor." H: "ya, or like bug on ze wall and squish him with ze newzpaper." F: "ya, or squish him like bug on table with ze newzpaper." H: "ya?" F: "ya." H: "ya?" F: "ya."

Race Categories:

(From the newest member of the PureJenius.net staff (who, by the way, is paid >well So I've been perusing the MCF board tonight and I still can't believe how many guys are whining about the races and race categories that promoters choose for races. I'm pretty good at whining too, so here goes: I'm a 35+ Cat 3 woman who will show up for the St. Cloud Crit and have to toe the line with Cat 1/2 guys - I don't give a shit that they're 50+, their license still says Cat 1 or 2 (and 3/4/5) and they race like Cat 1/2s. What's that you say, it's a ROY race, so we'll be scored separately? Okay cool, then I'll completely overlook the fact that the race will blow apart on about lap 1.5 and I'll spend the remainder of the race with 3 or 4 other women if I'm lucky or I'll assume the time trial position and ride around in circles by myself. Should be fun. Oh, I should shut my trap because if I think the 50+ guys are too fast and furious, I s...

Dear Cat 6,

You guys did an extraordinary job putting on the St. Fair Affair. You took boring Tuesday night races and made them super fun. You should be proud of your efforts and I'm sure next year will be just as fun. What I liked: - On-line reg and using the same number each week...roll up, sign, roll away. Super slick. - performance enhancing cookies at registration. - Trophies that resembled carbon fiber forks. very cool. What I didn't like: - not being able to piss or throw my trash where ever I wanted. super lame. I love you, Pete p.s: Dear Pellis, I hope you have fun riding with Grandstay.

The Grand Tour Known as the Nature Valley Grand Prix

Can it be called a big time "pro race" when 50% of the field is amateur? Sounds like a big time amateur race to me. Tulsa Tough, 3 crits, over $35000 in prize money for the pro,1 races. Only $1500 to win the over-all at NVGP. Doesn't cover a team's entry fee. Stage 1 - 60 minute crit Stage 2 - 60 mile Road Race Stage 3 - 6 mile TT Stage 4 - 60 minute crit Stage 5 - 90 mile Road Race Stage 6 - 60 minute crit The over-all winner's time in 2008: 8hrs 15minutes. I call that my 135-mile Osceola ride (which we did two weeks ago). Better yet, 8hrs 15min is 1.5 winter rides for us. Why are the races so short? Like I said before, these are professional athletes, this is their job. Don't give me the excuse that it is a week after Philly and they are tired. I work hard at my job, and some weeks I really hate it. Hard weeks of work are often followed by more hard weeks of work. The business world never says "oh, they just had a difficult week, let's take it easy ...

Caravan action

I've never ridden in the race caravan before. It's fun the first time, but would be painfully boring if this was something I had to do every week. The race it self seemed rather tame. Only one guy got dropped out on the open road. Just before hitting the short dirt section coming into Cannon Falls, race radio announced that the average speed was only 26.8mph. A SuperWeek criterium, which is longer than the CF road stage and is not loaded with pro teams is faster. Marcotte won the first points sprint of the series. The announcer seemed almost disappointed that an amateur won the sprint. E Rok then had a bit of misfortune and crashed the next lap. Even after missing out on the final sprint, E is 3rd over-all in the sprint competition. He'll see how things go in the MPLS crit for the sprint points. Could there be a sprinters' jersey in E Rox future?

When the going gets tough, the pros quit.

NVGP stage 1. E Rok started in the back of the field and wasn't afraid of racing his bike. He found his way to the lead group just before the moto crashed, which caused the race to be neutralized. Cole was in the group behind E, Gregg and Pat were solid in the third group. The officials bent like pipe cleaners when the restart was protested by the "professional athletes" not wanting to continue. Truly pathetic. Road+wet=slippery. I'm sure these "pro" cyclists have raced in the rain before. Boohoo if there were crashes. There are crashes in every bike race, wet or dry. Besides, a large majority of these crashes were on the same corner, couldn't these learning impaired imbeciles figure that out? Aside from a few drops, it never rained during the men's race. What sucks now is everyone got a free pass to continue. We had two guys in striking distance of the amateur and u23 jerseys. Thanks "pros", now go back to your hotel, get your legs rubbed,...

What were you doing at 5:48 am?

Yo! Doig! Over here! "Well, you see, Rena, I don't go around giving myself nicknames, its just that people see me and call me Mr. Cool." "Rochester will have a high of 76, but with that warm, humid air comes the chance of some thunderstorms. There might be some hail so be sure to bring in your tulips if you can. I know I will." Yo! Doig! We're not done yet!

State Fair Crit #2

Good times. The GP NVGP squad used the race to loosen the legs and things worked out well. E Rok and I were in a break but kept the pace tame so E wouldn't work too hard before the big show. The peleton came together with 4 laps remaining. We stayed at the front, railed the last lap and took home another trophy that resembles a carbon fiber fork. 1. E Rok 2. Pellis 3. Yours Truly 4. Cole-in-the-House. What I liked: - (didn't mention this last week) Having an announcer gives it the feel of a (for lack of better term) a real race and not a Tuesday night race. Bike Racing 102: We covered 101 and echelons earlier this season, today we are covering knowing when to say when. During a criterium bike race, a team or teams will organize their riders at the front of the field to control the pace with the idea of setting up their protected rider(s) for the final kick. This tactic is as old as bike racing. When there are 8 riders from the same team at the front riding single-file there is ...

No wonder Big Brown lost:

BREAKING NEWS:

Founder, President, and CEO of purjenius.blogspot.com to race Fixed Gear Classic . Live press conference on WCCO channel 4 Saturday morning sometime between 7:45am and 8:30am. Fire up the Tivo, it will be worth it. What's the worst that could happen?

Fairgrounds Crit Video

Because I got some airtime on the BT podcast, here's a little vid for everyone: Thanks to Timmer for sending me the vid. I have a handlebar mount for my video camera. I'm going to give it a trial run at the fix gear classic. I will definitely will use it to get some in race footage at next week's fairgrounds crit.

Fat people can pedal thier bikes real good too...sometimes

I hope everyone minded there P's and Q's last night at the Fairgrounds crit by either pissing in their cars or in the bathroom and picking up after yourself. But of course if your mom was there you were allowed to make the biggest mess since she will pick up after you. Hare core rider of the night goes to Ezra for racing a single speed. He even won a prime by out sprinting an Flanders rider! Sidebar on Ezra: a few years ago there was a cx single-speed CRY. Ezra would show up and put the screws to us every week. He does it in a Dale Sedgwick kind of way were he doesn't look like he's riding hard but after about three minutes of hanging on his wheel you say to yourself: "f*ck'n hell, this sumbitch is hammering." Hats off to Ezra for an awesome ride. Last week Dale told me that I was going to win the Fairgrounds crit. I laughed at him and said that's not possible. I hate when Dale is right. In the closing laps we took over at the front. Dale, Jens, and Pa...

How to get ready for a Cat 6 sponsored crit...

Have a healthy lunch:

Prozac?

Naw, just watch this guy twice a day and you will start feeling better about yourself in 29 seconds. Classic Clip - Wrestlings Biggest Loser - Watch more free videos

E rox!

After a 4th place at Snake Alley, Marcotte wins the Weed Park Crit in Muscatine Iowa. Cole was in the House finishing 4th. Definitely the warmest day I've ridden in all year.

Name that race #6

Tone: 2.5 Strats: 2 SuperPoopie: 1

BDTT Race Report in Agonizing Detail...

I'm a better climber than a TTer...and I'm a horrible climber.... In today's economy, I did get a better dollar per minute ratio than a lot of other people. I feel pretty good about that. TT's should be a pay-as-you-go format...$x/minute...I would have to shell out some serious cash for a 40k.

Where was Mr. Opus for the finnaly!?

It's over. I had not gone to the previous two Opuses and was kind of glad last night was the last one. It seemed that the enthusiasm was gone in the peleton, so much so that I actually won a sprint. Bjorn showed up and could have taught us all a lesson in bike racing but he didn't even seem to wound up either. I gave Pat a glimpse of what it feels to be Marcotte. Dale and I gave the little guy a sweet lead-out for the final sprint. Pat won but failed to pump his fists in the air in celebration. Big D was noticeably absent last night. I was kind of surprised at that. He even stuck it out on the miserable rainy night a few weeks ago. So if anyone sees Donimator, let him know his presence was missed last night.

Wheels on Willy weekend

Road Race: Really big hill. Not good for a buck-90 6+ footer. I saw only small guys the last time I made it up. I had a sandwich and waited for my small teammates to finish. Crit was fastest one ever. I pedaled a little too hard in the 30+. The 1,2 was a fast sumbitch from the git-go. We missed the break of 5. E-rok lit up the field sprint for 6th. Cole watched his sprint from 8th. Snide wrote a check to Dale for $1 million. Snide is a nice guy. Pellis is getting married. 'bout a dozen or so MN'ers made it to Madtown for the bike event. Good to see.

Happy F'n Friday....

*note that it is a corner piece.