....Where the Cat 1 Elite shine.
Word of warning to those out there that regularly associate with a cat 1 racer, for the next 8 weeks be prepared to talk about nothing other than how awesome being a cat 1 is.
Now that the racing season has been underway for a few months, Cat 1's have their cycling tan lines perfected. Their now golden brown legs give way to a disgustingly pasty white wasteland midway through their thigh. Speaking of thighs, these shaved, toned, and oiled up beauties are what cat 1s are most proud of. They will wear casual shorts that compliment their prized possessions. They will wear expensive sandals that show off their sock tan line (just a subtle reminder to everyone that they have been riding a lot). They will stand, sit, walk...basically pose in such a manner that shows of these muscular beauties.
After the legs, the next most important physical attribute to a cat 1 is their weight. With thousands and thousands of miles piled on this year, the cat 1 is down to the gaunt, sickly, anorexic physique that they have been trying to attain for months. The hard work is only worth it until someone says "you should eat something" or "wow you are really skinny." That is the ultimate compliment to give a cat 1. That alone out weighs any compliment to a race result.
Next, be prepared to be dazzled by their beauty. By this time of year, cat 1s are enamored by their own physical appearance that they begin to plan their wardrobe the night before a race. It's very important to have the most expensive, torn up jeans ever produced. The ultra tight fitting t-shirt, sunglasses the size of a 747 windshield, and more hair product than you can shake a stick at. Cycling has a cat-walk known as the registration line, it is very important to look absolutely beautiful in it because you are being judged by everyone around you (because you never know if Michael Ball will be at the Gilbert, IA road race).
Lastly, for those who might be working registration, please, under no circumstances ask for a cat 1's license if they have not presented it to you. These guys have spent years attaining elitehood and should not be insulted that you are doubting their bike riding status. If you do ask for a cat 1's license, be prepared for the look of "um, yeah, I was like 8th last week at the De Witt Classic Road Race in Nebraska, you don't 'just' get 8th there, that's a bitch of a race."
If you would like to see Cat 1s at their best, here are a few locations that you will be able to find them:
- SuperWeek (especially Downer Ave, that is when these guys shine)
- Grant Park Crit in Chicago (new race this year. I'm sure it will be beautiful)
- Tour of Elk Grove, IL.
- National Crit Championships, Downers Grove IL
guilty as charged.
Word of warning to those out there that regularly associate with a cat 1 racer, for the next 8 weeks be prepared to talk about nothing other than how awesome being a cat 1 is.
Now that the racing season has been underway for a few months, Cat 1's have their cycling tan lines perfected. Their now golden brown legs give way to a disgustingly pasty white wasteland midway through their thigh. Speaking of thighs, these shaved, toned, and oiled up beauties are what cat 1s are most proud of. They will wear casual shorts that compliment their prized possessions. They will wear expensive sandals that show off their sock tan line (just a subtle reminder to everyone that they have been riding a lot). They will stand, sit, walk...basically pose in such a manner that shows of these muscular beauties.
After the legs, the next most important physical attribute to a cat 1 is their weight. With thousands and thousands of miles piled on this year, the cat 1 is down to the gaunt, sickly, anorexic physique that they have been trying to attain for months. The hard work is only worth it until someone says "you should eat something" or "wow you are really skinny." That is the ultimate compliment to give a cat 1. That alone out weighs any compliment to a race result.
Next, be prepared to be dazzled by their beauty. By this time of year, cat 1s are enamored by their own physical appearance that they begin to plan their wardrobe the night before a race. It's very important to have the most expensive, torn up jeans ever produced. The ultra tight fitting t-shirt, sunglasses the size of a 747 windshield, and more hair product than you can shake a stick at. Cycling has a cat-walk known as the registration line, it is very important to look absolutely beautiful in it because you are being judged by everyone around you (because you never know if Michael Ball will be at the Gilbert, IA road race).
Lastly, for those who might be working registration, please, under no circumstances ask for a cat 1's license if they have not presented it to you. These guys have spent years attaining elitehood and should not be insulted that you are doubting their bike riding status. If you do ask for a cat 1's license, be prepared for the look of "um, yeah, I was like 8th last week at the De Witt Classic Road Race in Nebraska, you don't 'just' get 8th there, that's a bitch of a race."
If you would like to see Cat 1s at their best, here are a few locations that you will be able to find them:
- SuperWeek (especially Downer Ave, that is when these guys shine)
- Grant Park Crit in Chicago (new race this year. I'm sure it will be beautiful)
- Tour of Elk Grove, IL.
- National Crit Championships, Downers Grove IL
guilty as charged.
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