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Ducks in a row

T-minus 4 days to the big cut-over. I've been put in charge of a big project at work. My company is changing voice and data service from company I to company O and the big day is Monday. The data and voice T's have been turned up and tested. The next hurdle comes on Monday evening when all of our 100+ DID's port. Either we will not have voice, or we will. Two months of planning has gone into this so it's go time. I can't wait for Tuesday morning.

Five days without the sun sucks. With it being extra dark in the morning makes it hard to want to get out of bed.

- P

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No lie. - P

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My low self esteem dates back to my early childhood. I grew up in a household where I was to be seen and not heard. I was told quite often that nothing in the house was mine because I did not pay for it. I was not allowed to have an opinion or challenge the patriarch and authority. This continued through to my adult life and continued to shape how I felt about myself. I wasn't ever going to be good enough. It weighs deep with me today. I have very low self worth and self esteem. I don't feel like I belong in social situations with people who, from my own perspective, are normal. If they only knew how fragile of a person I am, it would be game over for me. It shouldn't matter to me anymore as I have proven, to myself, that I came from behind to catch up with my peer group from an educational and professional standpoint. It still weighs on me, I feel like others look at me and think that I must not be that smart because I'm only an XYZ at my job and not an ABC.  Of course...