pure jenius.

Fun times. (thanks Casey for the photo)

I'm sorry everyone. Yesterday at lunch I was excited to be finally weighing in again. I celebrated by going to a mongolian grill and piling every morsel of food I could in that tiny, palm-sized bowl (that shit cooks down you know). Also, to ensure I made weight, I polished off all of the "fun size" twix in candy dish at the front desk (by the way, fun size twix should be 6'x12" and not some spec of chocolate with a "cookie" the size of an advil. fun = huge . What kind of polygamist cult sonofabitch thinks fun is small?) 188.4 (-2.4) I'm wasting away. I tried to ride my bike fast at Opus but I started breathing hard and my legs hurt. Average speed of commute this morning: 14.5

I've got new batteries for my scale, that poor thing is going to need all of the juice it can get when I hop on. I haven't weighed myself in two weeks. (190.8 at Opus #1) I'm thinking I might be a gaunt 189.7 now.

1.) Tough guy of the weekend award goes to: Jimmerc 2.) Best parking spot of the weekend goes to: me 3.) Biggest assumers of the weekend: Pellis/Dale/me (apparently it is extremely difficult for four officials to keep track of 15 riders) 4.) Biggest "got screwed over" award of the weekend: Pellis (see #3) 5.) Biggest benefactor of our assumption that 4 officials can keep track of 15 riders: the >real< 4th place rider who collected 3rd place money. (hey, gas prices are high and it costs a lot of money to drive from St. Cloud. Good for you for not questioning the results. You know you were 4th, and we will remind you of it.)

My horrible performance at Durand was backed up by a horrible performance at KWMRR in the 35+. Gordy might not be human. That or he doesn't grasp the concept of a 26mph headwind. Either way, I tested my theory of the less you ride, the less likely you are going to do well in a race. Summer has been canceled. Breakfast of champions. Are you serious!? What's better than one bike racer parking in a handicapped spot? How about two. Nice work you guys. Karma's a bitch.

Last week was a tough one, being the first race and all. Since Iowa City is this weekend I'm going to assume that the peleton will be comprised of local riders. (don't mention Iowa City on the MCF message board because the overlords don't want you to know that people race there bikes elsewhere in this country). I'm thinking it's Grand Stay's race since they will be the only one's fielding a full squad. (in alphabetical order by last letter of their name) Doig Doug Dan Ian Timmer Last week I got 2 out of 5 (i'm using the "non-local" as my wildcard)

I think I made this one a little harder. Tone: 1 Everyone else: 0

My goal is 5 straight, we'll see what this weekend brings. I don't have my post Opus weight because I burned out the batteries in the scale. It takes a lot of juice to dial that thing up to a buck-ninety. We need a new toilet. The 1948 flushmaster has seen better days. One of those dual flushers would be nice. You know, the one that flushes only a little bit for when you sprinkle or flushes a lot for those Chipotle poopies.

Ickey

Durand (see also: internet blogland for painfully detailed accounts of the race). 1. did anyone see the piles of snow still lingering around? 2. I lost count, but there were quite a few expired deer laying in the ditch. I'd think that some Wisconi type would have made venison jerky out of those by now. 3. Stop throwing your gel wrappers, bottles, etc. in the ditch. It was pretty pathetic to see all the trash in the ditch at Durand. I rode the last lap pretty damn slowly and saw a beautiful mosaic of discarded wrappers. Nice. Parking lot crit in Mankato: We got up innere real good an raced hard you know we came to see what we got an showed some promise got good qualifyin start an th Grand Performance Bianchi was runnin real good we dun got up innere at the end wit th main move an got Jens the win an cuddint dun it widdout the Bianchi Grand Performance Sram Bell Cliff Bar Giro sunglasses an all our loyal fans.

My top-5 in alphabetical order: Dewey Doug Marcotte Mulrooney some non-local guy Instead of training I was here last night: (Wild lost) Who's the high-roller closing the deal?

Same shite...different year. Post race weight: 190.8

Hint: free beer. View Larger Map

Only one of those sounds appealing.

He rides 100.8 miles with his lapper and Verizon mobile broad band. Now that's a training camp.

Why the internet is...like...the coolest thing...like...ever. Good Cop, Baby Cop on FunnyOrDie.com