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Showing posts from December, 2007

Duuude.

Look who I saw at GP during lunch: No lie. - P

My 2004 State Road Race Recap for BikeThrow.

Just like a DVD, I will be posting "bonus footage" on my blog over the next week or so (that is if I remember to). Questions like: "Was there any trash talking?" and I know Ray would love to find out what the real "breakfast of champions" is. Here's my recap: Here’s what I recall from the 2004 State Road Race. I’d like to start of by saying that the old Plainview course is by far one of the greatest race courses in the Midwest . I miss racing there. On to my story… As many know, the state road race was always HOT! No matter how early we started, we always finished in sweltering heat. I’ve always believed that for 6 laps (I think we did 7) you raced the course and the last lap you raced the competition. During the first 6 laps, I was fortunate enough to be surrounded by my Grand Performance teammates. I tucked in behind their wheels in the wind. I was on the center line while they grabbed bottles in the chaotic feed zone. I drank and ate w

bigger and better things are coming...

The staff here at pure jenius have acquired a new piece of technology: - P

Two things:

1.) Ray: the peanut M&M's are in T...quite a few slots down from the Nutty Bars in M. I'll see if I can get that changed. I'll get a pic for you. b.) My co-worker has a new webcam: - P

Measure once...cut twice.

Apparently I did not follow the instructions too closely. I was building my indoor track.... ...and I ended up with shelves. Dammit. - P

Computers for Dummies.

I thought these didn't have problems . Don't forget your Hummer is idling in the handicap spot at Starbuck's you image addicted a-hole. - P

keeping the economy going.

Who's the sonofabitch who bought the last water heater!? Screw it, I'm building my own track. MMM...sample day. - P

Exclusive Interview With PattyCakes*

*I didn't have the time to interview him, but I'm sure it would go something like this: PureJenius: Pat, thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to talk. PattyCakes: I think I should be in class right now. PJ: I hear you are quite the domestic. Can you elaborate on what it is like? PC: Well it's a lot of fun and very rewarding. For instance, I will get up early on Saturday morning, drive to the Twin Cities, stop and get three medium coffees, three scones, and go pick up my teammates. They are usually still in bed when I come pick them up because I have to get there pretty early. So I will load all of their equipment into my car (if someone's bike needs to be washed I will take care of that before loading in on the car. I don't want to make that mistake again...sorry Jens.). Once the car is loaded, I will then make sure everyone gets out of bed in time to make it to the race. Usually my guys are pretty crabby in the morning, especially if I have to wake t

WWDD?

Problem: Would you: A.) B.) C.) D.) BTW, the Biffy is no joke. It was dropped off for us to use...don't worry it has a heater...that's not plugged in. I chose: WWDD? = What Would Dale Do?

Man down...

We are expanding our office space by taking over some of the neighboring company's space. Our office space is tiny and there are about 40+ people in here at any one time. 85% of the people here are men. The mens bathroom has one urinal and one shitter. After throwing down your morning coffee, or afternoon beer, the men's room gets rather crowded. So crowded that we often refer to it as a conference room. I've been in as many impromptu "meeting" in the bathroom as I have been in real meetings. (i'm not referring to the "oops-I-dropped-the-soap" meetings. I'm talking real business discussions.) I have found that people are more to the point when bellied up to the urinal. It's a good way to get direct answers. As part of the office expansion we are also expanding the men's bathroom. We are going to be up to two urinals and two shitters. As of right now, the men's conference room is ripped to shit, as in, closed for business due to some r

I love the Cross Town....

...this much... - P

Wednesday night ride #2

Tonight: 6:30 pm Harriet Band shell. Ride for about an hour. (tonight is the finally of America's Next Top Model. it starts at 7...I'm just sayin' that if I'm a no-show that's why) - P

What are My Opus Entry Fees Paying For?

My Opus entry fees are paying for...... ...A Range Rover, but not car washes. ...a sweet Mazda 3. I stole Strats' zoom zoom. ...some really good beer. (I brought the winter ale but was happy to see some EPA) ...Heated man-shack. ...Some finely crafted awards. ...my 2014 replacement. ***no pic of: Mean Dog learning how to play poker. ...This guy to switch teams. ***no pic of: snowmobiling at 3 a.m. ***no pic of: Donimator falling asleep at the pool table. ...LSC's Elite Team. What I'm paying for...Lack of sleep. That there is 5:03am on Sunday morning. - P

Drink Up.

Paul, Casey, and Casey's friend. Messing with Jensie. Uh oh. Paul likes blue. and product. Bad form. Good form. Beer + Guns n Roses = air guitar. ...and... ...and: Jensie must have gone to sleep. Yep, definitely drinking. Jameson on rocks. Pete on Jameson. WTF? This guy likes striped shirts. Where are we?

LSC

Watch out Loon State! I know what you've got going on this weekend. Get ready for your party to get crashed! I've been to your parties before, I gotta tell you, I've never seen grown men get so whacked out on Skittles and Mtn. Dew. I might have to bring some big-boy drinks. - P

Fatty

I'll be the first to admit it, I'm a fatty. So, to do something about it, today at work I had only two doughnuts, a bacon cheese burger and fried, and plenty of coffee. I did all this to offset the fact that I am one of those lame asses that started my "2008" training. I'll jump on the scale later. - P

Wednesday night ride #1.

Damn cold! 15 degrees at 6pm. 5 degrees at 7 pm. Angie, JT, Strats, and I met up for what turned out to be an epic ride around lake Calhoun. We did not care to ride much more than that. We did make it home in time to see the end of ANTM (America's Next Top Model). Next week is the ANTM finally, who will win? The skinny girl from a broken home or the sassy be-yotch with no modeling experience whatsoever? Makes for some riveting television. Hopefully next weeks Wednesday night ride will be a little warmer. Wednesday nights: Harriet Bandshell 6:30pm. - P

Brush your teeth.

After a quick look around the google interwebs dot com, I'm not surprised that I'm not the only one annoyed by this: Sure this she's hot, but you know that she's more goddam annoying than a chick with an Australian accent because of that bluetooth ear piece. When I'm at Lund's trying to find some ripe bananas and eggs, I don't want to hear some dip shit... ...spouting off about box seats at the (name of sports team) game and was drinking with the team's cheerleaders afterwards or how much money he won out in Vegas and hooked up with a stripper. You know what, impress me...if you have to use your uber awesome earpiece then use your inside voice pal. What I find really ridiculous is these same douchbags walk around wearing those earpieces and aren't even talking on the phone. Sure the guy jabber-jawing into the earpiece is annoying, but he will be annoying guy even when he holds his phone to his face. How f'n important are you that the millisecon

Zero

It was doing this... ...on Saturday morning and I was glad I swapped out the summer tires... ...on big pimpin . Sarah ... ...and Casey ... ...and Paul went for a bike ride... ...when the snow looked like this. I... ...and... ... and . Shortly thereafter... ...and... ...and... ...came back from their ride when the snow looked like... We ... ...and... ...until Billy Corgan ... ...came over for diner. what?